
Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you’ve recently moved to Portland (coming up on my one year anniversary you guys!) or you follow the team from a distance. Hell, maybe you don’t even really follow the team, but you’ve heard a thing or fourteen about Raymond Felton returning to Portland tonight. Maybe you’ve felt a slight puzzlement over the fact that Carrie and Fred-ville has worked up such a seething vitriol over Raymond “13.5 points and 6.6 assists career average” Felton. Doesn’t it seem odd that one rotund and mediocre guard is the single-most reviled player by a specific fan base in the league? And what’s going on with this stuff—is Felton threatening people?
Never fear. I have assembled what I believe is a definitive list of articles, tweets, and photographs at the center of the millenia’s least essential beef. Presented chronologically, with brief commentary:
June 27, 2011: Blazers introduce Felton, a meme is born.
At the Blazers’ introduction of Felton, Nolan Smith and Jon Diebler, some poor soul unwittingly handed Portland’s stocky point guard a cupcake, thus building a nice little house out of kindling for any future sparks. Included in the timeline because this is the definitive origin of all the lame fat jokes and cupcake zingers.
January 6, 2012: “Trail Blazers are a team that wins, and watches, together”
Not many remember that last season’s bitter disappointment actually began with some promise, with the Blazers surging out to some early season wins and looking, however briefly, like contenders. This is a charming relic of that period by the Oregonian’s Jason Quick, who writes: “I still don’t know [Felton] very well, but what I do know of him, I like.”
He discusses Felton’s straight-forward, sometimes aggressive manner of handling the media, and addresses Felton’s weight. While interim GM Chad Buchanan and Nate McMillan do say they wish Felton was in better shape after the lockout, the concerns are low-frequency here. Choice Felton quotes: “I came to training camp not necessarily overweight, but not at my playing weight that I’m used to….“The trainer the other day said, ‘Dang Ray, you getting slim.’ I was like, ‘Now, is that a compliment or … how should I take that statement?’’’
February 11, 2012: “Clock Runs out on Felton”
You feel that whiplash? That’s right, scarcely more than a month after the Blazers are leading the Western Conference and the locker room air is positively thick with bonhomie, things have turned. Quick, like many others, points the finger at Felton: “The answer is obvious: It’s time for Felton to be benched.”
At this point, Felton is already to bristling about question of his poor play. When Quick asks him where his head is following a particularly rough loss, Felton responds “What kind of question is that?” In the lockout-compressed season, it seems, the schedule added to a feelings of desperation, and this article reads like everybody’s starting to feel sort of trapped in a pressure cooker.
Mar 14, 2012 (Happy 1st Birthday, Stupid Felton Beef!): The trade deadline
In an ESPN.com chat, Chad Ford airs rumors that have been circulating for some time in Portland: Raymond Felton and Jamal Crawford have “quietly orchestrated a mutiny” against Nate McMillan. Quick, with the treadline approaches, tweets “If Blazers trade Felton they have a chance to make playoffs. Guy is a cancer and a crappy player. Bottom line. Period.” This is all seems very prescient considering that on…
March 15, 2012: The Blazers fire coach Nate McMillan
With the Blazers having posted perhaps the single most disappointing season in the league, Nate is put out to pasture.
April 5, 2012: “Keep it 100”
After a strongish outing under interim coach Kaleb Canales, Ray Felton issues a challenge to the haterz that may outlive even CupcakeGate. “Words don’t break me,” Felton said. “I stay right off Pearl District, in the Indigo, if you want to come see me.” When a few of his teammates laughed at the apparent challenge, Felton said: “I’m going to keep it 100 with them, you feel me?” This is not exactly MacBeth’s “tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow” speech; if the blood for the Blazers’ season is on Ray’s hands, he’s not real concerned about it.
April 28, 2012: LaMarcus Speaks
After the season, in an interview with Quick, Aldridge acknowledges that the team was splintered in the locker room and that discontent with McMillan, from Felton in particular, was a huge reason why. Aldridge says “I went to Ray and I’m like, ‘Hey, forget Nate. I know you don’t like him, but let’s play. Do you want to be here for five years? Then show us.’” That LaMarcus was comfortable specifically addressing Felton on the record is telling, and gives weight to the “cancer” tag and the “quiet mutiny” accusations.
Jun 19, 2012: “Droppin 50 on ‘em”
In a video puff piece from his camp in South Carolina, Raymond Felton takes a few shots at the Portland media, saying “I’m a free agent so maybe those bloggers and those people who write won’t have to see me again. Maybe they won’t, until I’m coming in on the other end and droppin’ 50 on ‘em.” My reaction is :| linemouth forever. I’m sure this measured lack of antagonism was carefully crafted by Felton’s handlers to keep things from spilling into an immensely stupid soap opera.
The Present: Feltöndämmerüng!
With Portland breathlessly awaiting the return of their archnemesis yesterday, things get heated. First, Felton tells New York reporters that “certain people” in Portland “better not come near” him. This is, to say the least, unusual. I’m not sure what the precedent is for NBA players threatening media members through other media members, but I can’t imagine it’s a long list. Lest you think maybe this is NOT a media member Felton is addressing, he later tells Chris Haynes: “They know who I was talking about. They better not come by me or ask me a question. I’ve already let people know. You can’t put out lies like that and expect me to talk to you.”
Meanwhile, Quick pens the definitive Felton takedown, drily urging fans to cheer Felton because, basically, without him sucking so much the Blazers wouldn’t be any fun at all. This is just a great series of burns.
Finally, this morning’s BlazersEdge cover.
So there you have it. I have wasted maybe two hours of my life compiling something like a causal series of incidents and articles that might explain why such an inessential player draws the ire of a fanbase with a long history and way more brutal disappointments than Raymond Felton. I hope this has convinced you that all the time and energy Portland fans are spending thinking about Raymond Felton and vice versa is well worth it.