Thursday
Oct282010
Brandon Roy Wants the Ball More and the Blazer Hippie to Dance Less
Andy Carmichael | Thursday, October 28, 2010 at 1:30PM
Brandon Roy has been in the demanding mood lately. A couple of weeks ago, he stated he would like to see the ball in his hands more. This week, he went on to add that he would like to see the iconic Blazer Hippie fan dance less.
“Right now, I see the Blazer hippie dancing on the JumboTron 7, maybe 10 times a game,” said Roy shaking his head. “I’d like to see that number down to 2 or 3.”
The Blazer Hippie has been a staple of home games since the Drexler era. He is easily identified by his tie-dyed garb, long hair, nappy beard and crazed Daniel Stern-esq blank stare. Roy cited the general lack of quality dance moves as the main reason for wanting the Blazer Hippie to receive less exposure.
“He does three things well: the twirl, the groovy shoulder shrug and the hard hand-to-knee clap during Taking Care of Business,” stated Roy. “After that, it starts to get pretty repetitive.”
Brandon Roy is not the only one in the Blazer organization wanting to taper down the hippie’s antics. General Manager Rich Cho says the hippie fan is an unfair stereotype of Oregonians and that he gives the false impression to visitors that Portland is a liberal city tolerant of others. He also agreed with Roy regarding his apathetic dance moves.
“The hippie has become a lazy entertainer. He still raises the roof. Who even does that any more?” asked Cho. “During a timeout last year, he even attempted to do the robot. Hippies shouldn’t do the robot, that doesn’t make any sense.”
The Blazer Hippie was not immediately available for comment as he has no phone.
“Right now, I see the Blazer hippie dancing on the JumboTron 7, maybe 10 times a game,” said Roy shaking his head. “I’d like to see that number down to 2 or 3.”
The Blazer Hippie has been a staple of home games since the Drexler era. He is easily identified by his tie-dyed garb, long hair, nappy beard and crazed Daniel Stern-esq blank stare. Roy cited the general lack of quality dance moves as the main reason for wanting the Blazer Hippie to receive less exposure.
“He does three things well: the twirl, the groovy shoulder shrug and the hard hand-to-knee clap during Taking Care of Business,” stated Roy. “After that, it starts to get pretty repetitive.”
Brandon Roy is not the only one in the Blazer organization wanting to taper down the hippie’s antics. General Manager Rich Cho says the hippie fan is an unfair stereotype of Oregonians and that he gives the false impression to visitors that Portland is a liberal city tolerant of others. He also agreed with Roy regarding his apathetic dance moves.
“The hippie has become a lazy entertainer. He still raises the roof. Who even does that any more?” asked Cho. “During a timeout last year, he even attempted to do the robot. Hippies shouldn’t do the robot, that doesn’t make any sense.”
The Blazer Hippie was not immediately available for comment as he has no phone.
Reader Comments (25)
Was Cho in town for a Thunder game last year?
i have season tickets, and the blazer hippie hasn't been around regularly for a few years... now its a fat bald guy dancing. does anyone from this blog even attend blazer games?
Rotfl
Wow- tough crowd Roo. Maybe stick to more literal, factual statements next time for this audience? Personally, I thought it was hilarious.
"he gives the false impression to visitors that Portland is a liberal city tolerant of others"
What the hell is this Cho? he obviously doesn't get out much, maybe he should walk downtown sometime and get massive bong hit blown in his face by a bum sleeping in front of an operating business as a "yeah this town is pretty liberal" check.
It's a joke peeps.
carnshark might be on to something though....
Bong Hits From Bums has a nice ring to it... Maybe a lung cancer fund-raiser?
Im with carnshark.... and what exactly is wrong about being tolerant of others....?
It's for laughs, folks — satire is a wonderful thing.
Great stuff, Andy. Please keep doing what you're doing.
"he gives the false impression to visitors that Portland
is a liberal city tolerant of others...can take a joke... can even realize that a joke's being told"How dare you say my mother's large enough to encompass an entire house, sir? She may "sit around the house" quite often, as you say, but I take offense at your implications that her sizable girth is such that as to overwhelm an entire Estacada doublewide trailer.
I am pretty sure that Portland is a liberal city that is fairly tolerant of others!!!!
Fat bald dancing guy needs to go away. Saw an interview with him on Comcast sports net last year talking about how he only watches the blazers play when they are winning teams. Now African dancing lady is amazing and after a few I start thinking to myself....
already been said, but. . . . . .it's a joke!
i must admit that i've never seen the blazer hippie (i go to about 6-7 games a season) but i certainly believe there is/was one.
i, personally sort of love the bald dancing guy and the dancing lady. one game we went to last season they had a little dance off at half time - on the court. BAM!
i understand its satire, but at least make the joke time relevant or something. the blazer hippie hasn't been around regularly for years. i will give you this: he did look like a super high daniel stern tho.
This piece = genius
Thank you...
I know the Blazer hippie is rare these days. I did see him twice last year. Think of this as wishful thinking. I will include "Warning: Satire" for future posts.
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