Island of Misfit Blazers Toys: Gumby Bonzi Wells
Ezra Ace Caraeff | Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 7:35AM 
Joel is happy, Bonzi is not.
[Sung to the tune of the Gumby theme song] Bonzi! He was once a little green slab of clay. Bonzi! You should see what Bonzi can do today. Bonzi! He can walk into any book, with his pony pal 'Sheed, too. If you've got a heart then Bonzi's a part of you. Bonzi!
I don't know much about what kids like—other than not staying off my goddamn lawn—but I'm sure any wee child would love to get their fudge-covered fingers all over this Gumby Bonzi Wells figure.
Just look at him! Angry scowl on his face, comically large mole, Jailblazers headband—put Bonzi in your toy box and watch him (and Erick Barkley) beat up your G.I. Joes, and then casually drop 45 points in a playoff game.
A common complaint at the Biannual BonziCon (the national convention of Bonzi Wells merchandise, held twice yearly in Reno, Nevada) is that most Bonzi memorabilia is just not flexible enough. Well, not with this guy.
Want to contort Bonzi's arms to form a welcoming hug for his former Shanxi Zhongyu teammates? Done. Want to bend Bonzi's knee until it requires microfracture surgery? Done!
Thanks to Brandon for loaning us this valuable treasure. If you have any odd Blazers goodies, drop us an email.
Reader Comments (4)
My younger brother has one of those. Speaking of odd Blazer toys, I passed up a 'Sheed rubber duck at a Goodwill once. I kid you not - 'Sheed's head on the body of a white rubber duck with his name and uniform number on it. Still regret passing it up.
Yeah, I've seen the 'Sheed rubber duck. It might make an appearance on this site someday soon. But if it does, I'm bathing with it. That post will be very NSFW.
I've never seen one of these, but I'll take two please!
The toy figurine looks funny. I remembered someone when I saw that.