Welcome to the a new feature here at the PRS where we pay tribute to all the odd items of Trail Blazers merchandise that have appeared over the years. We scour the murky depths of thrift stores and eBay for Blazers items worthy of a feature here in The Island of Misfit Blazers Toys. If you have any suggestions, please send us a tip.
It's a doll.
With a mustache.
In a bag.
Poor Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje, even his promotional merchandise was an epic fail.
The onetime Blazer never quite followed in the long line of former Georgetown big men and only saw minutes in 44 games over three years. His biggest claim to fame was not his tidy 1.0 PPG, but instead came when he was knocked to the hardwood courtesy of a Rasheed Wallace thrown basketball during practice. Ah, memories. Now we can all longingly stare at Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje, forever trapped in this plastic tomb—like a taller/sadder Han Solo in carbonite—and remember his glory days.
The only thing worst than this unflattering doll would be a highlight reel of small German players dunking on you. Oh, that exists.
(Thanks to PRS reader Mike for giving me this doll. I shall cherish it forever.)