CHRIS KAMAN FAQ

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WHO IS CHRIS KAMAN?

Chris Kaman is a 32-year old basketball player from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He plays the center position, primarily. He attended Central Michigan University. He was drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers in 2003, played for that team until 2011 when he was traded to the New Orleans Hornets as a part of a package for Chris Paul, played with that team until 2012, when he signed with the Dallas Mavericks as a free agent, left that team in 2013, and signed with the Los Angeles Lakers as a free agent. He was an All-Star in 2010. He acquired German citizenship in 2008 on a flimsy pretext (he has German grandparents) to play for the German National team.

WHAT DOES CHRIS KAMAN HAVE TO DO WITH THE PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS?

On Wednesday, the Portland Trail Blazers signed the Kaman to a two year, 9.8 million dollar deal. The first year is worth 4.8 million dollars, the second is guaranteed for one million dollars.

THAT’S A LOT OF MONEY! IS HE GOOD AT BASKETBALL?

Well. Kind of. Kaman posted decent per game numbers last year: 10.4 Points on 50% shooting and  5.9 rebounds while playing 18.9 minutes per game. They even stand up to pace adjustments analysis: a 17.0 PER (15 is average), 16.6 rebound percentage (Lopez had a 14.5%, Aldridge 16.5). On offense, at least, he wasn’t terrible. But, he did only played in 39 games last year, on account of both injuries and DNPs. That second thing I wouldn’t worry too much about: last year’s Lakers were a Mike D’Antoni joint and Italy Mike preferred to crank up the pace and play lineups with only one big man.

Kaman has been a pretty good midrange shooter for most of his career, but he didn’t get a lot of tries in MDA’s threes/rim runs system last year:

kamanshotchart

When he played in Dallas two years ago, in a flow style offense that is similar to Portland’s, he did a little better:

kamanchart2

He is probably not a good defender. He doesn’t have swift pick and roll destroying feet and his block percentage is a’ slippin. RPM indicates that he isn’t a disaster, though;

kamanrpm

The ways of RPM remain mysterious to me. It could be witchcraft and he could be as  a fiery dumpster.

Kaman was rumored to be on the Blazer’s radar last year, and it would have been a bad idea then because he probably would have started and car bombed the defense. But he isn’t starting on this team barring some VERY bizarre roster reconstruction decisions. Kaman is not a great player, at least not anymore, but you know who else isn’t a great player? Basically every NBA backup big man. If a back NBA Big man was a great player, he would almost certainly start, because the percentage of the population that is both exceptionally tall and NBA-great at basketball is so small that everyone who fulfills those conditions is an NBA starter already. But there is a 85% chance that he is still a good NBA player who will improve the bench even if he is making a little more money to do so than one might be comfortable with.

IS WHAT AMOUNTS TO A ONE YEAR CONTRACT THAT WOULD BE READILY TRADEABLE GOING TO KILL THE BLAZERS?

That question seems leading, but no! One year contracts are basically harmless. The Blazers could pay Hasheem Thabeet 20 million dollars for one year and not really mess up too much. That might even clean up the cap a little and give everyone someone to fixate all their negativity towards.

IS HE NOT SPENCER HAWES?

He is not! This is good because Hawes is deeply insufferable and would have commanded a multi-year deal. He’s also almost certainly better than Hawes, who has a worse PER and RPM.

IS HE FUN TO WATCH?

Not really. But he is pretty goofy lookin’ out there, all big and pale and bearded and stuff. He shoved Reggie Evans after Revans gave his nuts a grab and gave a pretty funny interview about it once. (h/t Brocialite)

DOES HE HAVE HOBBIES?

Hunting, which I find abhorrent but you probably don’t have a problem with. He owns a lot of guns but at least he doesn’t have President Obama’s face on toilet paper and equate taxes with living in 1983 Soviet Union despite being paid millions of dollars to play basketball. He also drives speedboats (h/t David Roth). Outdoorsy stuff! He’s going to love it here!

THERE ARE LIKE A BILLION BIG MEN ON THE ROSTER NOW, HUH?

Yeah, someone’s gonna get shipped out for some weird guard.

HEY, UNRELATED, BUT IS THERE A PLAYER YOU THINK THE BLAZERS SHOULD SIGN?

I think the Blazers should sign Jameer Nelson because he is better than Mo Williams.

 

  • JMF_mn

    I’d shove Reggie Evans if he grabbed me in the nuts. Well, not him, because he’s much bigger than me, which makes the whole grabbing-nuts thing really problematic from a forensics standpoint. He’d have to be on his knees to do it. Um . . . never mind.