HOORAY SCORING, HOORAY HISTORY
Corbin Smith: Blazers point guard Damian Lillard had a career-high 41 Points in a loss to the Kings on Tuesday. Let’s take a look at some other career-high scoring nights in Blazers history:
JANUARY 4TH, 1997: TRAIL BLAZERS 110 – MAVERICKS 104
Future Basketball Hall-of-famer Arvydas Sabonis scored an NBA career-high 33 points as the Blazers took down the Mavs at the Reunion Arena. “Good game, I had a good game, but more importantly, we got the win.” Said Sabas to assembled reporters after the game. “I gotta be honest, I am BUSHED. I can’t wait to go back to the forest, set down my roots, and spend the night in some nice warm soil. Wait. I mean, a bed, and getting sleep and eating human food. I am 100% a human being, not a tree/person hybrid designed by Soviet scientists to be the ultimate energy-sensitive basketball big man. Get out of here! I don’t even speak English! I mean, Aš nekalbu angliškai, gauti šias kameras iš čia!”
MARCH 6TH, 1985: TRAIL BLAZERS 121 – BULLETS 127
New Mexico State product and Trail Blazers rookie point guard Steve Colter went 14 for 20 with 3 three-point shots for a career-high and team-high 35 points in a loss to the Washington Bullets. “Look, I’m just out there trying to do what I need to do to get a win for the team and the fans,” said Colter after the game, “It’s good to have a good game, but when you’re competitive like I am you would rather get the win, for sure. I would also like get a band together, something hardcore punkish, but shorter and a more aggressive, like thrash-y type aggression. Work in some experimental music type stuff. Definitely really political.” In 1990, Colter would meet Claremont, California-based guitarist and tape artist Henry Barnes. Together they formed the legendary powerviolence unit, Man is the Bastard.
Even if the Blazers lost that game, Steve Colter’s dreams on that night came true.
APRIL 9TH, 1982: CLIPPERS 104 – TRAIL BLAZERS 124
Carl Bailey notched his career-high in a blowout win over the San Diego Clippers. After the game he grabbed several reporters. “ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP” bellowed the big man, “IT’S THE BEGINNING OF THE CARL BAILEY ERA IN PORTLAND. SEE THIS GUY?” He pointed at his seven foot frame, “HE’S THE FRANCHISE NOW, AND HE WILL BE PAID, FED, CAR’D, WOMAN’D AND LOVED LIKE IT.” Carl pumped his fists in the sky. “CARL BAILEY IS A FORCE OF NATURE, A DAMNED HURRICANE, YOU GUYS CAN PRINT ‘DAMN’ IN THE PAPER, RIGHT, A 7 FOOT MONSTER WHO WAS BUILD BY JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF TO DOMINATE ON THE COURT AND IN THE BEDROOM. CARL BAILEY IS BIGGER THAN NAPOLEON AND THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD AND ANDY WARHOL AND HE WILL BE RECKONED WITH.”
Those career high points were, unfortunately, the only two points Carl’s career. He would be waived by the Blazers on June 23rd and not receive another opportunity in the NBA.
INSTAGRAM IS DARK AND FULL OF TERRORS: MO GOTTI EDITION
Let our Boosie go.
Art is sacrifice.
Hersey Hawkins sounds the alarm but are you listening?
It’s a walk-off.
SLANTED AND ENCHANTED
Grady O’Brien: In case you don’t know who Stephen Malkmus is–wait, this is a Portland blog, you know who Stephen Malkmus is. Anyway, Malkmus, who has a new album out with his band The Jicks, went on a Grantland podcast not too long ago and used most of the time to talk about the NBA (and his Blazers’ fandom). If you’re a fan of Malkmus and the NBA, this podcast is a dream come true.
Then, Malkmus followed it up by going on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon on Monday and playing a couple songs from the new album. During the second performance (a web exclusive), his guitar player is wearing a Blazers hat!
THOMAS ROBINSON LAYS WASTE TO ORLANDO
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF PAUL ALLEN: JANUARY 11TH, 2014
6 AM: alarm.
6:01 AM: snooze (it’s Saturday).
7:13 AM: arise.
7:49 AM: eat breakfast prepared via elaborate Flubber setup (note: it’s the actual setup from Flubber – money is no object).
8:50 AM: select velvet jacket.
11:47 AM: so much velvet.
12:03 PM: arrive at Century Link Field to walk around during warmups before NFC Divisional Playoff.
12:04 PM: take off velvet jacket because rain and velvet are not friends.
12:05 PM: put on funny hat.
1:40PM-4:00 PM: watch Seahawks defeat New Orleans Saints to advance to NFC Championship.
4:01 PM: take off funny hat and replace with new, Trail Blazer logo’d, funny hat.
4:02 PM: put back on velvet jacket.
4:03 PM: mmm…velvet.
4:11 PM: travel to Portland via underground submarine tunnel.
5:11 PM: send submarine selfie to Patty Mills, “hey Patty! miss u!”
5:12 PM: oh, that Patty Mills, he’s adorable.
6:30 PM: arrive at Moda Center.
6:51 PM: meet date for first time.
6:52 PM: yeah, she’ll do.
7:05 PM-9:45 PM: watch Trail Blazers defeat Celtics.
10:00 PM: write in diary, “Hi haters…” (addressing haters in a personal diary is rather unconventional, to say the least, but who am I to question?)
10:01 PM: “…today I am an emperor…”
10:02 PM: “…Bill Gates can’t even solve global health but I built simultaneous contenders in two major sports with nothing but fists of cash and funny hats. Me, Paul Allen.”
10:03 PM-11:59 PM: dreams of velvet.